Answers...

Why haven't I had the luck I was supposed to?

Why do I allow myself to continue to be disrespected by the person I love?
I take all the abuse because they are my family.. What else can I do??
Can I truly make it without him/her?
Why doesn't he/she show me the same love that I show them?
I had his baby why doesn't he stay with us??
She just had my baby why don't she show how much she loves me?
Is it possible to love someone so much that you want to hurt yourself?
Is a man suppose to hit a women like my dad hit my mom?
I work so hard for that promotion but they gave it to someone else.. Why try if I keep losing?

Let me start off by saying this.. Every question in this blog, you have the answer to. The person you should ask before you ask anyone else, is yourself. Look deep down inside and find the answers.. I can only give you my opinion.. No matter how wild the opinion is, it is only just that, an opinion..

I say fuck everything and everyone if they are not out to help you. I really believe that if you start caring about you then everyone will follow suit.
As far as your job and giving your all. I say fuck that!!! Loyalty does not live here when it comes to my job. Where I work for someone else money is the most important thing. If they don't appreciate you they will never give you anything… Only the bare minimum..

He or she won't stay with you after that baby because I think they are saying, if you wanted it now you stay with it. I'll come visit and give money if I can. But for the most part fuck you and that baby..

I think that its possible for your heart to play a trick on your mind, to make you think it would be smart to hurt yourself over a women or a man..

I think you should really think about seeking help for your weak mind and nature. Absolutely never ever let anyone disrespect you or your family.. Stand up and make your voice be heard..

We have a lot of questions as human beings, and there are answers for them all.. You just have to learn to sit and ask yourself for them.. And be honest with yourself..

dont get mad get money..

From the mind of a Don

MOEDON

Why do you hate yourself

We’ve been conditioned to hate ourselves. The darker you are the lighter you want to be. The lighter you are the darker you want to be. I’m too heavy, I want to lose weight. I’m too skinny, I need to put on some weight. My eyes aren’t light enough, I need contacts. I don’t like my hair color, I want to dye it. My clothes just do not fit me right. My nose is too big. My lips are too thin. At what point do we accept ourselves for who and what we are? If the creator wanted you skinny, he would have made you that way. If he wanted your eyes light, then they would be light, wouldn’t they? Botox, liposuction, all around cosmetic operations as a whole I think is bullshit (personally my opinion). Your exterior does not make you who you are. Its what’s in a person’s heart that defines who and what they are. Your looks will not get you in heaven, (if you believe in that sort of thing). I honestly believe that these things come from our parents or the adults that came before us. That’s where we got the notions of good hair, pretty eyes, smooth skin or nice shapes. Who the fuck says what’s a nice shape and what’s not anyway? What I think is attractive, you might think is ugly. One man’s shit is another man’s diamond. One woman’s shit is another woman’s diamond. All in all what I am saying is, your exterior is an illusion that you have been brainwashed into living up to. Who are you really? Can you answer that? Probably not, because you don’t have the clothes on that you want to have on. Your hair is not long enough, your eyes are not light enough, and your skin tone is not what you want it to be.
So instead of searching for the newest shoes, the hottest bags, that doctor to take those 50 pounds off or that man or woman to complete you. You should be searching for inner peace. Ugliness is what you make it.

From the mind of a Don
MOEDON
A man at peace with himself

Chasing a dream

Chasing a dream.. In a world of under achievers I choose to be an over achiever.. Watch me do what you want to do.. Please record this time in the clouds.. For before me there was none and after me, only my children.. Greatness is my sweat.. Glory are my tears.. I am a statue in the making just be aware.. I teach the teacher that fears not to be taught.. Training my mind body and soul the to take action is first in a thought.. I look in the mirror and see not what I am but what I can become.. I am my own enemy.. As I close my eyes and grab my chest over my heart to feel the energy.. Who do you want to Win?? I ask myself often.. The light or the coffin.. The worker or the BOSS'n.. Hard work is done by more movement and less talking..

From the mind of a Don

MOEDON
dont get mad get money..

Love is never easy

We as human beings can not do what pleases every one all the time.. What we should live by what is in our heart.. In our hearts are mixed emotions.. I said to a few friends that love hurts. Most people hear that but don't understand.. Until they go threw it.. The pain is like no other.. The confusion comes in when you ask yourself if love is wonderful why does it hurt so bad?? Just know that there are things in this life that you will never over stand.. And love is one of them.. Ladies and gentlemen love may not love the way you want it to be.. But it will always love the way you need it to.. Question is it love if you have to question it?? Answer why wouldn't it be.. We are humans and we should question anything that hurts.. Don't just love to be in love.. Love the person for everything that makes them them!!!!

From the mind of a Don
MOEDON
dont get mad get money..

SO HE SAYS HE LOVES YOU

Only night time calls at least 11pm.. And when he does come which is 2 to 3 hours after that all he wants is pussy.. No real conversation.. He called you a few times this week so you feel obligated.. He shows you attention when he wants something.. When he needs some shoes or a bill paid.. Don't forget about that money you gave him from your return last year.. The holidays not even a call from him. He said his mother had him very busy putting up the tree.. He lives with his mother and she don't like company that's why I'm never invited over the house.. But the way he looks at you.. You are just in love with his big brown eyes.. Your homegirl was bugging when she said he hit on her.. Girl he was just playing.. He plays like that with all my friends.. When you are with him in the street its more like you guys are good friends.. He just doesn't like public displays of affection.. That's ok because you know how much he loves you.. Your behind in your bills and he can't help you cause his money is tide up in some street things.. But he just bought them new Jordans.. But he got those with a discount.. The store man damn near gave those to him.. Your about tired of people trying to run your relationship.. So what he doesn't spend the night with me.. Is that any of your business?? Ok I do help him pay his rent.. But that's just because he doesn't have it right now.. But when he does I get.. Thank you.. Yes I had a couple abortions.. He's just not ready for another baby.. So what his baby's mother is pregnant right now.. He says that's not his.. How you know?? You wasn't in the bed with him.. So she will say anything to get me mad.. We gonna get a blood test when the baby is BORN.. (6 months later)
Fuck what ya'll telling me.. So the baby is his.. We all make mistakes damn.. I'm just happy I have a man that's willing to take care of his responsibilities.. Ya'll just hating.. Leave me and my man alone.. On your way to get another abortion?? Yeah well he just had another baby.. He ain't ready.. Our baby is going to be planned.. You bitches don't understand.. HE SAYS HE LOVES ME..

From the mind of a Don

---MOEDON---
dont get mad get money..

QUEENS

You just got out of a bad relationship to be right back into another one.. Why do I attract these type of men?? Well sweetheart it's what you give off.. If a man see's that he can take advantage of you he will.. Well at least most men will.. It's in our nature to conquer.. You need to fully know who your are.. Before you can fully know what you deserve.. And I say deserve because a lot of time what you want and what you deserve are two total opposites.. What you want is that all loving open doors and pull out chairs for you.. But your loud ass just might deserve a sit around the house all day, smoke an ounce every two days good for nothing piece of shit..
LADIES I can't stress enough the importance of knowing yourself and when its time to grow up.. I take my hat off to those women that made that transition safely and didn't let anyone shake them up.. It's hard to become a man/woman without the proper role model because it's so much more then age.. Anyway ladies be a role model to your daughters and sons.. And I say sons because my mother was mine and, knock on wood, I have never been locked up.. And I don't smoke or drink and I don't play video games.. Multiple business owner and loving family MAN.. These are all the things my mother made me..

Show the world you are a QUEEN and you should be treated as such..

From the mind of a don
-MOEDON-
dont get mad get money..

BORN BLACK

Destitute of light, the void of all color. Dark without feeling. This is just some of the bullshit that Webster has in the dictionary for what I am. AMAZING, STRONG, AWESOME, KING, QUEEN, CREATOR, ORIGINAL; these are all the words I think about when I think about BLACK. Don’t be fooled into thinking that you are inferior. The first man on God’s green earth was of African descent. That means like it or not everybody is black. Learn to love your blackness. Question those that hate themselves. “Oh, he’s so black, or she’s so black. Black is tar.” Funny right? But coming from a black person, how funny is that really? So you straighten your hair and put red lipstick on. Who are you trying to be? Can’t be trying to be black. Why do we think that proper grammar is talking white? When did not going to school become cool? Why do you consider hip-hop a black culture? Hip-hop is universal for the record. And for the slow people in the peanut gallery, that’s white, black, yellow, green, shit even purple. If you see a group of black kids on a dark street, would you continue to walk down it or cross it? If you seen a group of whit kids on the same dark street, would you continue to walk down it or cross it? where do we get these preconceived notions that all black is bad? I was once told by a wise man that the victor in the writes the history books. So if your ancestors were taken from their native land, how would they be written about in these history books? I say all of this just to purely invoke the thought of change. Change in one’s mind and one’s soul. So that other nationalities can embrace us as well as we should embrace ourselves. Is being born black a curse or a gift? How do you answer that? I believe you can tell a lot about yourself by how you answer that question.

Voluptuous Victim

Society says a size 8 is normal. I say a size 8 is hungry. Society says light skin is what you should be. I say light skin is lacking of melanin. Society says a lot about women that I don’t agree with. Imagine a young woman 15 years old, dark skin, double D’s made to think that she is ugly and overweight. You wonder why what society calls “overweight” women has low self esteem. You are only as sexy as you feel. The mirror should be your friend. I have a problem with women that choose to be intimate with a man but will choose to wear a T-shirt to bed. I say fuck what your aunt, your uncle, your mother, your father, your cousin, your teacher, your doctor or your friends say about you. I love every roll, ever stretch mark, every crease and every crevice. In a perfect world, everyone would have exactly what they are attracted to. So what I watch big girl porno. I am attracted to the voluptuousness. Learn to live and love your BIGNESS. Embrace what other people reject. God mad you YOU for a reason. You envy her for what? Skin and bones is just skin and bones. You eat a drumstick for what, the meat right? Being BIG is beautiful. Learning to love your YOU is even better than that. Crying over what other people feel about you does what? Be reborn in the baptism of your BIGNESS.

WHO HAS HER HEART??

If I let her tell it, her heart belongs to me. But actions speak louder than words. How can you live with him and love me? Those kids should be mine. I never knew love could hurt so much. Is it really love or is it just the agony of the lust that I yearn for? I still remember the first kiss. That first touch. But most of all the conversations. How could you tell me his downfalls and still be with him? I embrace the lies in your truth. So you love me right? But, are you IN love with me? Do you sit up at night and think about me like I think about you? is it my dinner that you are cooking at night? Are those my clothes that you clean and fold every other day? My lost love, the one that got away. You make me think that a man should hurt a woman and that is the only way to keep her. If good guys finish last, then what should I be? They say men shouldn’t cry, so I chose to write my tears on paper. I ask again, who do you love? Are we worth telling the truth? Our baby didn’t live but our love does. Who do you think about, yourself or him? If you loved yourself over him then you would love me. Lies live in the heart of the devil, God is the truth.

FREE EXPRESSION

Our society is set up to shoot down one's free expression.. If a man likes fashion we call him gay.. If a woman likes to wear men's clothes we call her gay.. We are just so brain washed when it comes to certain things and certain people.. How pathetic is it that the popular opinion on hip-hop is it being about big jewelry and ignorance.. Not how ignorant is THAT way of thinking?? Like all house music is just for homosexuals or hard rock being just for skin heads.. We as a people have to learn how to be truthful to ourselves and not worry about what the masses think.. If it feels good to me then that's what I'm wearing.. What I'm watching and listening to.. I urge you parents to nurture your children's talents.. water the seeds so the plants will GROW.. Where would all our greats heros be if they followed what society said?? We would have no light.. Damn near no food.. And absolutely no MUSIC..

From the mind of a DON
-MOEDON-
dont get mad get money..

THE OPPOSITE SEX

I was in preschool when I first felt the attraction for the opposite sex.. It might sound funny but I was trying to look under the partition in the bathroom to see the little girl next to me.. Yeah I had a little hard on.. I got my first kiss not too long after that.. The first time I actually penetrated a female I was about 6.. My uncle was with her mom in the other room.. We were playing house on the bed under the covers.. I know it might sound like I was born horny but.. Well ok It could possibly be that.. I've had a very active childhood.. Not too much in the park playing ball but women have been my amusement for a very long time.. Not to sound like women are play things because they are not.. I just can't do the male bonding thing that most men do.. All that video game playing and drinking is just not me.. I don't even like having men on my facebook page.. Its something about a woman.. BLACK, SPANISH, WHITE.. Just women are wonderful.. Their scent.. their taste.. Their look..
I'm partial to BIG WOMEN but slim women get busy also.. I had a sexxy slim women show me that they get busy also.. I can't put it into words the way I feel about all women.. I don't always have to be physical with them.. The conversation is enough.. I have a t- shirt that reads LOVER OF ALL WOMEN.. I think that describes me the best.. Sex was like my relief from everything at one time.. It is nothing like having a women's legs above her head.. I just wish more people were more honest with each other when it comes to sex.. Like look I just would love to have you in my mouth.. Or I would love to fuck the shit out of you.. No I don't want a MAN/WOMAN.. I just want to fuck. Really fuck I'm tired of playing the lying game.. That whole talking to you for months.. lying about being interested... I just want to fuck you?? I know it sounds like a lot but imagine if you just fucked your last boyfriend/girlfriend.. You wouldn't have had to go through that shit you did with.. I'm going to start a sight called fuckmebook.. I think I would get about a million hits in a less then a week..

dont get mad get money..

TIME WAITS

Time waits for no man or woman.. You've spend half your life walking around asleep.. WAKE UP!!!!!

From the mind of a DON
-MOEDON7-
dont get mad get money..

A DREAM

I hit the lotto for 20 million dollars and was able to take care of my family and friends.. We all had nice houses and cars and all of our kids were taken care of.. I bought a store and it became one of the biggest chains in America. Right when I was about to take the stage on Oprah.....I woke up..
That's the problem with dreams.. You wake up from them.. Don't dream, make it happen. Its nothing wrong with an aspiration but get the knowhow and make it happen.. Far far to many of us live in a dream world. Where they didn't get the job because the employer was hating on them.. And the other parent of their child should understand their financial state even though their kid still has to be clothed, fed, they need a place to sleep and shit.. This dream I tell you is a disease that is very catching. Our parents had it.. Their parents had it. And their parents before them.. Well I refuse to give it to my kids.. We deal with reality around here.. If you don't work hard for it.. You won't get it.. We have pride in our self first and foremost, and our work is no exception.. So you and your family continue to dream.. While me and mine will be getting what you dream done..

From the mind of a DON
-MOEDON-
dont get mad get money..

I REMEMBER YOU

Tasha from the block, my first crush.. I remember you. Long hair (I know it wasn’t yours but it was still sexy). We played outside from flower pot to flower pot.. I remember you. My first kiss.. Dark skin Myesha with the bucktooth, I remember you. The first time I had that bulge in my pants that I wasn’t quite sure what to do with it.. I remember you… Your mother was fat and smelled a little tart, but her food still was good. Myesha I remember you.. April, the first time my genitals went to the Promised Land. I remember you.. Little robust around the waist, braids to the back, the white house on the corner of Dumont, I remember you.. In the park on that red house, it was cold outside but warm in you, I remember you.. The first kid I robbed at 13; I don’t know your name but I took that chain, I remember you. Junior High School 211, my first taste of the gang culture, I remember you. Wearing red and flag, before blood or crypt, I remember you.. Us beating up on dudes that lived in private houses just because we lived in the projects, I remember you.. My girlfriend in Junior High, Bianca, I remember you… I got kicked out that school for you. It wasn’t my fault you didn’t want him anymore and you wanted me, Bianca I remember you.. IS 390 in front of Albany, I remember you. Grown men out in front of the school drinking 40s and talking to 14 year old girls, I remember you. Living with my cousin wearing discount store clothes, I remember you. Big Group, my little big brother, I remember you. when it was just me and you against the world, I remember you. We played with matchbooks and hair rollers and had the best time of our lives, I remember you. East New York, Cypress Hills I remember you. Crack sold in the park, kid thrown off the roof, I remember you. Crazy BoBo, I remember you. I had to be 10 years old when you bought that big gun to my house, I remember you. Caught stealing from City Line, me my brother and two other kids, I remember you. My mother pregnant with Eunique so she couldn’t beat us, I remember you. My cousin Marzette beating us for the City Line heist telling us it was going to hurt her more than us (Bull Shit), I remember you. My big sister Shannon, I remember you. Taking us to Betsy Head, Brownsville’s dirty pool, I remember you. Those Saturday afternoons taking us to Empire skating rink, I remember you. Mommy working and you having to be the mother, I remember you. Shannon, you remember being caught stealing at A&S, getting your ass whooped, I remember that too. My grandmother, Amorie Nichols, I remember you. You taught me truth above all, you taught about being true to myself is the most important thing. You taught me how to gamble (pitty pat and the table stakes is $25) rest in peace, I will always remember you. My aunt Alisha, I remember you. When my mother passed you took custody of us. I remember you. Sorry for the hard times we gave you, we were just young boys acting up in school, I remember you. The cold dinners in the summer time, tuna fish sandwiches, and deviled eggs, I remember you. The fact that you didn’t’ take no shit from nobody, I remember you. My mother, Leola Pate, I remember you, the realest person I ever met, my foundation, my heart, my passion, my all comes from you. I remember you. That ass whooping coming out of a warm bath, I remember you. Hiding the belt and getting the extension cord, I remember you. You saying you were raising men and women and nothing in between, I remember you. You will forever have my love, rest in peace Mommy, I remember you. They say it takes a village to raise a child, I grew up on St. John’s between New York and Nostrand, I remember you. R.I.P. my aunt Catholine, I remember you. R.I.P. Donald, I remember you. Mellie, I remember you. Victor, Tootie and Starr, T-Rock, Book, Nike Boy, Rashonda, Tasha, Keewana, Pop, The Primos, my cousin Bobby, Borif, R.I.P Brandon, The Twins (both sets), St. John’s in general I remember you..

FREE WORLD

What the world needs is not more politicians not more police bombs or guns. What we need is more free people. Free of fear. The fear that we all walk around with everyday. We are all scared of something but why? If you knew more about fear it would no longer exist to you. My only fear is of myself and what I'm capable of doing to another person. I've learn that in my world fear does not exist. It's just a figment of my imagination.. Life is truly what I make it.. It can be wonderful or terrible, everything is my hands.. I'm learning everyday. I live and suggest you do the same..

May your life be filled with all the things you make happen.. Now its on you what those things are...

From the mind of a DON
-MOEDON-
dont get mad get money..

MONEY HUNGRY

Who has a family member that will do anything to get money including screw another family member?? Yeah, I know I'm not the only one.. You either have a friend or family member just like that.. They don't care what they have to do to get it.. Rob, steal, kill, shit whatever to get it.. Its a sad situation when you don't care about nothing but money.. You can't take it with you. So hugging that dollar does what?? Some people are just spoiled inside so stop thinking you can help them.. All they want is money and they will sell their soul to get it.. Funny thing is money don't make you happy.. You do..
When you realize your freind or family is like this stay far away from them.. Nothing can come from them but disaster!!!!

From the mind of a DON
-MOEDON-
dont get mad get money..

WHO ARE YOU

The questions I ask other people are mostly the question I really have for myself.. Who am I?? Am I my own person or am I a creation of my surroundings.. Do I like this kind of music because my friends like it? Do I eat what I eat because this is what my spouse eats?? Am I really horny all the time or did I learn to be from some one else?? Some times I wonder am I just a shell of myself?? Could I be so much more?? Can a person say they are real when they follow someone else?? Yeah I know what you're going to say.. But we all have to follow someone else eventually right?? NO you can learn to be your own person. and like things just because you like them.. Ask yourself where did your love for things come from.. I mean the very beginning?? Who did you get it from and was it a good thing?? And I want you to ask yourself these questions because you have or want to have kids and what are you going to teach them?? How to be a follower or a LEADER

From the Mind of a Don

MOEDON

dont get mad get money..

HOW DO I LOVE?

How do I love? Do I really understand what it is? I don't think so because we think love has something to do with sex and that's so far from the truth.. All I know is when it feels like love I can't eat.. That person is on my mind everyday.. Is that Love or an obsession?? Can a person tell the difference?? Is a relationship supposed to have love in it.. Or is a relationship one big business?? Good for both parties?? These questions I ask because maybe if we treated each other like that it would work better.. Look! You are binded to do this and that.. The word love itself; where did it come from?? Can it really change one's life?? Having it all around you or the lack there of.. Can I be in love with myself?? If so then I am because I know how to love me

From the mind of a Don
MOEDON
dont get mad get money..

WHO ARE YOU?

The questions I ask other people are mostly the question I really have for myself.. Who am I?? Am I my own person or am I a creation of my surroundings.. Do I like this kind of music because my friends like it? Do I eat what I eat because this is what my spouse eats?? Am I really horny all the time or did I learn to be from some one else?? Some times I wonder am I just a shell of myself?? Could I be so much more?? Can a person say they are real when they follow someone else?? Yeah I know what you're going to say.. But we all have to follow someone else eventually right?? NO you can learn to be your own person. and like things just because you like them.. Ask yourself where did your love for things come from.. I mean the very beginning?? Who did you get it from and was it a good thing?? And I want you to ask yourself these questions because you have or want to have kids and what are you going to teach them?? How to be a follower or a LEADER

From the Mind of a Don

MOEDON
dont get mad get money..

WHY HATE YOU?

I smoke a pack a day.. I drink almost a bottle a week and when I go to the club on the weekend, man I get fucked up.. So what I've had 6 abortions and I'm using my friends medicaid card now.. Yeah I smoke a pound a month and I stay drowned in henny.. And I have sex with many women unprotected.. I pop pills with liquor.. So what.. I eat fast food all week because its the easiest thing to get to.. I watch cable all day.. My exercise is reaching for the remote.. I feel if I'm going to die why not die happy??

The only problem with all those things is they are KILLING YOU!!!

Why hate yourself??

From the mind of a DON
-MOEDON-
dont get mad get money..

The Other WOMAN

I have to go to my mother's house and put a DVD player up for her, I'll be right back.. No you won't! You get there, she cooks and you spend the rest of you evening there.. Why do I have to compete with your mother? She's a sweet woman and all but you are my man not her's.. She's going to make you lose a great women because she's always calling and you're always running.. Sweatheart no disrespect but that's my mom, we are married and all but she's only mother so either you handle me doing things for my mother like an adult or we won't be a couple for too much longer.. Now don't get me wrong, I love you with all my heart but if I have to choose you know it's my mother. If the show was on the other foot you would choose yours.. So let's be grown up about this and I promise I will be right back.. (3hours later) hey sweetness mommy had my aunts over and I just couldn't leave please don't be mad I will make it up to you.. (Phone rings) yeah ma what's up?? The DVD player again?? I'll be right over.. See what the fuck I'm talking about ?(as she puts her clothes in her bag) I'm out when you grow up and can commit to me and not your mother call me...

Now ladies could you handle his mother being the other woman??

From the mind of a DON
-MOEDON-
dont get mad get money..

Are you a Killer?

When you abort a baby are you a killer? If its considered a baby, is it a life that you are taking?? I know there are a million reasons why one would abort.. But give me one reason why a person wouldn't?? Well I'll give you 31. That's how old you are right?? Yes I am 31. Well if your mother would have aborted you would you have lived to see 31?? No not at all. Ok then, see I'm not saying that I'm against abortions I'm just saying think about it.. Don't just say I'm aborting it without any deep thought.. I truly believe in pro choice but if you had 3 abortions back to back, then you need to change something.. So I ask you again if you abort a baby are you a killer??

dont get mad get money..

MOEDON

Do I know how to be loved

Far to many of us push the ones that love us away, for the people that really don't have our best interest at heart. Why is that?? Why do I want what's not good for me?? Why can't I recognize when I'm being loved?? All I want is that warm feeling. I don't mean to push you away, it's just that I've been hurt before.. That's the number one reason people use for not knowing how to be loved.. Knowing is half the battle (G.I. Joe). If you notice the problem within, then you can start to fix it. If you hate yourself no one will ever truly love you.. These are self taught lessons.. Me myself, I'm just learning how to be loved.. So I can't really be mad that you don't know.. You just have to want to learn..

dont get mad get money..

MODEON

Open Letter

Dear reader

This is to set the record straight. Most of us young guys had no male role models growing up. We made it up as went along. Don't judge me because you don't know my story. Yeah I sell crack because I have a 3rd grade reading level.. I've been through so much that makes me the man that I am today.. I've robbed people on the streets, people's mothers, fathers and their grandparents.. But my story is that of pain being inflicted on me. So in turn I inflict it on others.. I pretty much know the system back and forth because and I've been trained since I was young. The homes I've been in are all like jail.. The pain of men no one knows.. Shit, or even cares.. Ask me why I'm a gang member and I will say because I want to be.. But the truth is that they are all the true family I've got.. Now I'm not make excuses but this is what it is.. That little boy that you think you can't handle.. That you put into the all boys home.. Comes out a MAN, a very disturbed MAN.. So please with your "I had the same chance as you did" because I didn't.. I've been pretty much given up on since my birth.. Can I be saved from the path of destruction that I live?? Well maybe.. They say love cures all.. This letter is to those that judge a book by its COVER..

From the mind of a Don
dont get mad get money..

MOEDON

I HATE YOU

I hate the first man that I looked up to that treated a woman as an object. I hate the fact that my mind and heart is tainted. Emotional words are put up to keep the truth in and the liars out. I hate the fact that I was with an older woman before I could actually appreciate what a younger woman had to offer. I hate the fact that I have an old soul in a world filled with people that want to be young. I hate the fact that pussy is so important to me. I hate the fact that this piece is so brutally honest. Sometimes I hate the image in the mirror because I am my own competition. Hate is such a strong word. Hate and evil almost goes hand in hand. With that said, you strongly I feel. I hate women that treat themselves like sex objects. I hate men that do not treat themselves like kings. I hate the separation between black and white. I hate all the loves that I lost, or do I just hate myself for losing them? I hate the big women that want to be skinny. I hate the skinny women that want to be big. I hate anyone that does not appreciate what god made them. I hate the fact that we judge and do not want to be judged. I hate the fact that man hates anything that he does not understand. I hate the fact that people question is there a creator. I hate that my heart was ripped out so young. My mother, Leola Pate, my aunt Alicia, my aunt Cathleen, my cousin Rick, my homeboy murder. I hate the fact that I always end up loving someone that does not love themselves. I hate the first time I felt lonely in the arms of a woman. I hate that I am not like regular men that just finds women attract and don’t question if they are smart, intelligent or have anything going for them. As long as they have a pulse, they will fuck them. I hate hate. Can love defeat hate? Do I actually hate all these things? Or love myself for knowing the difference? The things I love I didn’t’ think I can hate. Sometimes I question my love for individuals because I question their love for me. But I was once told love was an action, so should question one’s actions? As long as I live, I will love. Motivation is my occupation. Don’t hate yourself. Love lives forever. Hate burns in the heart of jealous people.

From the mind of a Don
Moedon
Success or Death

Love is loneliness

Have you ever felt alone in a room full of people that you love? Yea? Then it could not have been in a room full of people that you love, because when you are with people you love, then you are never lonely. Ask the question when he or she says they love you. Love is an action word, you show love you don’t’ say it. You love me but you fucked her. That’s a question. She loves you but she fucked him? How do you love me and you have a baby outside of our relationship? Don’t tell me it was a mistake. You can’t trip and land or a dick or pussy. What’s stronger, your mind or your heart? Your mind tells you to leave but your heart makes you stay. Can a person be addicted to pain? He abuses you but you stay. Are you attracted to the abuse or in love with his hands? Do the slaps and the chokes turn you on? Who is more important the person that you love or yourself? Will you actually be able to keep his love and him around when you love him more than you love yourself? I will answer that question…. Hell NO. A woman’s pride is lost in a man’s penis. Close your eyes and search for the truth. Only you can save you from the pain and agony of what some will call love. There is somebody out there for everybody, but it seems when you search, you find the worst of the bunch. Be your own best friend, lover, aunt, cousin, brother, sister. With the exception of twins, we were all created alone. So why do you yearn to be loved when you don’t love yourself? A better world is one filled with self love, honest, whole hearted people. The question you ask your heart only your heart can answer.

From the mind of a DON
Moedon
Success or Death

WHEN A MAN CRIES

When a man cries the first reaction is that he's weak.. But is it that he's weak or is it that he's in touch with his emotions by being honest with himself letting them out?? Now I'm not talking about crying over losing a bet or not getting what he wanted for Christmas. But when he lost his mother or just when he's really hurt.. Women you should appreciate a man that's honest with himself enough to cry.. And not just prejudge him.. Learn what it takes for a MAN to be a REAL MAN and when you get that ladies hold on to him because honesty in a MAN is rare, especially when he's honest with himself.. Most of us men keep our feelings bottled up because that's what we were taught to do.. Keep it inside and take your problems out on somebody else.. Let's be real ladies if your man actually spoke to you more about all of his problems and you guys could sit down and work them out, would the relationship be better??

So please don't take him crying as a sign of weakness, because it's not. That's just him expressing his true feelings..

From the mind of a DON
-MOEDON-
dont get mad get money..

WHY I GIVE

I had a friend ask me why do you give to people on the train? They are only going to go and buy alcohol and drugs. And my answer was that I heard a story once about a guy that was walking on the street one day and a homeless guy asked him for something warm to eat. The guy doesn't even acknowledge that he existed.. He just kept right on about his merry way.. Some time later this same man got hit by a bus while he was stepping into the street.. The next thing this guy knew he was on a long line of people trying to get into this gate.. Now after what felt like a couple minutes.. Roger Bedford?? Yes sir that's me.. Well Mr. Bedford.. This is the heavenly gates and not everyone gets in here.. (Roger) well sir I have spent my life doing good, you can look that up.. Yeah well Roger the main reason we stopped you at this gate is because you can't get in. And this is why.. Just then that scene of him walking pass that man on the street came up.. And then GOD said to him you should never just give to receive.. A kind heard is your ticket into the heavens...

And with that said.. Give because your heart says so..

From the mind of a DON
-MOEDON-
dont get mad get money..

CAN I TELL YOU

Can I be truthful with you? I so appreciate the things you do for yourself and me.. I don't think you get enough credit.. you do when most wouldn't do. I want you to always remember that there's someone out there that loves and appreciates you.. I know you think your blood sweat and tears are all in vain but they're not. So for all the people in your life that you do for that don't acknowledge your work.. I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THANK YOU VERY MUCH.. Without YOU THERE WOULD BE NO US..
I see the work you put in and so does GOD.. You will be rewarded tenfold for all that you do. I see the fathers out there that's alone in there fight for their kids.. I see the mothers that instead of getting someone else to raise their kids they choose to.. I see the grandparents out there that didn't have the baby but because their parents are messed up on drugs they play the mommy and daddy role again.. I see the aunts and uncles that also do the same.. I see the foster mothers and fathers that don't just do it for the money.. I see the people in the foster homes that work there but actually care about the kids.. I see the kids out there that take care of the siblings because mommy or daddy has to work (BIG SIS).. I see all that you do and did and so DOES THE ALMIGHTY.. So on behalf of us all THANK YOU..

dont get mad get money..

Learn To Remember

Can I ask you a real question without you getting upset? Why do you treat your mom like she a disease that you need to get away from? I know sometimes she might say some things that you don't want to hear. But disrespect is disrespect and your mother don't deserve it. Wait until you lose her!!! Then you will understand where I was coming from. I've lost some of the realest women ever to enter my life. So when I see you disrespect yours it hurts my heart, because you just don't know. Cherish the time you have left with them. They will not be around forever so those old stories you need to learn from.. She/he was your age once.. For those of us that lost our Parents and Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles that would give anything to get them back.. This is for ya'll. We know you are looking down on us.. I'm going to try my best to school these women and men on what it takes to deal with us and raise us.. You guys did a hell of a job... I come from a block where everyone were your parent (st johns) and there was no cursing Ms. Anne out because your moms was going to tear your ass up.. What I'm saying is learn to love the generations that came before Us..

To all my brothers and sisters that lost your heart like I lost mine.. We would want to be as close to as important to our kids as our parents was to US..

From the mind of a Don

dont get mad get money..

THAT LOVE

I'm searching for that feeling again. That can't eat I don't want to talk to anybody but them feeling, that I just want to spend all my time with that person feeling. That warm on the inside when its cold outside feeling. I remember long conversations on the phone where we were just getting to know each other with no need to talk about sex because I knew how you felt and you knew how I felt. That "boy you running my phone bill up ain't you gone see her tomorrow" feeling. That I don't want to hang up first feeling. That tears in your eyes when you're mad at me feeling. That first special valentine feeling the big heart balloons, the huge heart of candy the extra special card that came with it expressing your feelings for that person.. I miss laying on my back feet on the wall talking until one of us fell asleep. That coming to pick you up for our first date feeling. That first time you got your cell phone bill and all the pages was that person's number called a million times..

What ever happened to energy like that? Now its just I want to fuck and suck you and then on to the next one.. Where is that feeling of LOVE people?? Do you feel this with your man/woman? If not why not? What are they doing wrong? You should be his/her all
Keep surprising them.. Keep it fresh..

From the mind of a DON
-MOEDON-
dont get mad get money..

I Cant Believe It

Believe it or not guys a women can, and probably does sleep with just as many people as you do..

Ladies don't be mad when you hear the phrase.. "Mother's baby, Father's maybe". We know it's yours because you carried it.. But he can't be sure until the blood test..

Ask yourself this guys, "do I pay for the pussy"?? Do you get her hair and nails done?? Do you pay for dinner and the movie?? Does she pay for anything when ya'll go out?? Oh Yeah!! So you do pay for it..

Ladies, so he hit it and never called again? What do you think happened? Either your box was trash or the conversation was.. It was one of the two. I personally think if your pussy is good, no matter what you say out your mouth he will keep calling.. Not all the time but he would keep you around..

Alright my man, how are you mad at her for moving on? She held you down for two bids both back to back.. As soon as you get out you go back in like you got a boyfriend waiting on you on the inside or something.. Take care of yourself now.. She needs a warm body to lay next to on them cold nights when you're not there..

You sucked his dick in the club's bathroom? And you're wondering why he treats you like this?? (Hand up) let me tell you.. You stupid smut bag!!! He uses you like a wash rag because you treat yourself as such.. You meet guys in the club and fuck all the time.. What is he supposed to treat you like when everybody knows your track record..

So your wifing a smut bucket huh?? Do you taste all the guys she been with raw?? You should dip your self in a boiling tub bleach!! You nasty bastard!!! What will she teach your kids?? How to give it up to everybody in a crew..

You can't believe your daughter is pregnant at 15.. Oh yeah?? Well you was pregnant also at fifteen but just because somebody stuck a hanger between your legs doesn't make you better!!!

From the mind of a DON

-MOEDON-
dont get mad get money..

So You Want The Truth?

Don't ask don't tell is what most people live by. My thing is if you ask the right question then you get the right answer. Moe do you love me? I love your eyes and your smile and even the way that you fit into your jeans but love you? Well maybe. But understand, loving a person and being in love with a person are two totally different things. The truth is I really really like you but beyond that no I don't love you like you want me to. Don't cry now because you asked the question.

Don't ask don't tell remember? I wouldn't asked if I was the best you ever had in bed because I don't want to hear no if its no. Asked me and I'm going to tell you. I'm not saving people's feelings when they ask for it.

Would you sleep with my sister?? Hell yeah, as a matter of fact she sucked my dick a while back and I've been thinking about having her do it again. What do you think? Don't ask don't tell.. Looks in the mirror wearing a new coat from lane bryane. How do I look? Well you look like a pig in a blanket.. You look fucking crazy.. Don't be mad. This is how I think you look. Key term is "I think". Everybody has an opinion.. Don't ask me if you don't really want my true response.. So you want the truth here it is.. No your head is not the best I ever had.. I don't go down on you because you have an ugly pussy!!! Your lips shouldn't look that lose.. You want the truth so here it is.. I think its gay to rather spend time with your homeboys then your girl.. She sucks your dick.. What does he do play with your joy stick?? LOL.. Yeah well don't ask don't tell..

From the mind of a DON..

-MOEDON-
dont get mad get money..

Thoughts In Question??

Is life really this easy or is it just that hard? Live like each and every day is your last so when it is your time you won't be cheated. That is what an older person told me, I thought about it and it sounds like damn good advice. So now if I could just get my emotions together I might just be saying something. I don't know anybody that has conquered this feeling of being in love and the loss of it. That is one hell of a feeling, its one of self destruction. It feels like your heart is burning and the world is ending. Like the all the buildings are all falling around you. like your drowning under water but you won't die. Can anyone show me how to get around this feeling? Is there anyone out there that has what it takes to teach how to help a broken heart?

The rage inside helps me deal with everyday life. I think life owes me a lot and I'm going to get it by any means necessary. The pain of my father not being here forces me to inflict pain to others. I don't know why I feel good making other people feel bad. One can explain it or maybe they can I just don't want to hear it. I'm any persons night mare young fucked up and I just don't care. Everybody is going to pay for what my parents didn't do for me. The love I didn't have the stable home I wish I had. Don't tell me I'm wrong I'm so tired of hearing that shit. I don't sell crack for the money, I sell it because of what its probably doing to someone's home. My parents weren't there so why should this kid's parents be there? Yeah I know, fucked up right? Well I'm just being honest, that's more than most can say for themselves. I'm laying here dying, shot 5 times in my chest for cutting some ones father for shorting me on some money.. Will I pray for forgiveness before I slip away to whereever the dead go? No because I need who's ever in charge where I'm going to know I still don't give a fuck..

Sounds of a baby coming out of that room. I am the proudest father in this world. Well not exactly the biologic father, but he's mine. Yes, she was with some one else. When he found out she was pregnant he left and said it wasn't his. Well with all the love I have for her I'm glad to accept her and him as my family. I promised her and her parents that I would always take care of her and the baby.. Home from the hospital, she had a C-Section, so I had to take off from work to help her out.. Sweetheart do you need anything? She's always so quiet and looking lost in her thoughts.. I think she's still hung up on him and what he's doing.. 3 months later, she's healthy now and moving around. She leaves my with little Cory and goes out often not coming home until 3 or 4 in the morning. Now I'm in love with her but to the point that I'm blind to the world. I had her change Cory's name to my last name because I saw that she was going to have to be let go and he's staying with me. One night when she said her and the girls was going out I decided to follow her. Low and behold she jumped in the front seat of a man's truck and kissed him long and passionately on the lips. Me having my camera I took pictures of it all even his plates. So when she came home that night I put the pictures all around the house so she could see. In the bathroom, in the kitchen, in our room. When she notice they was all over. She started packing slowly and not saying a word. So when she started getting Cory ready I kindly asked her to leave my son here. She started with that oh he's not your son mess. I said he has my last name and you have to go to court to take him and you don't want him now anyway. So this is what's going to happen. Right now your going to leave us alone and when you want to you can come see him. She started to put up a fight and then I guess she realized that she really didn't want to be a mother right now anyway, so she gathered her things and left without even kissing our child..

Can we control our emotions in certain situations?? I don't think we will ever have full control but what can be done is we can change the way we look at things..

-MOEDON-
dont get mad get money..

The House In Virginia

Stacy has had that cold for 2 months now.. Word she's mad sick sometimes but she gives the best head though. Word I'm about to go through there, fuck what dudes say about crackhead pussy.. You stupid I hope you be strapping up? Nah why? She like 40. She's not going get pregnant, she said her tubes are tied.. Yeah but what about the monster?? What? She ain't got no monster!!! Look at her, she's clean.. Yeah ok just put a condom on stupid.. There's no such thing as looking sick.. Fuck you I'm good.. I'm about to take her ass a couple of rocks and I'm fucking all night..

(Phone ringing) Hello.. John can you bring me some food when you come.. I will be naked like you like me.. Stace have you went and checked on that damn cold you got? Cause you sounding worse then you did last week.. Yeah I went down there last week and they said I had an infection and they took some blood and they gave me medicine and let me leave.. Ok well I'm on my way get that fat pussy ready for daddy.. Hurry baby before I start without you..

(Phone ringing) hello hello hold On let me turn down this music.. Nah I'm just joking leave me a message I'm out getting this money.. You know this is John leave it.. Damn nigga why your message so long.. Baby can you bring me and your son some dinner home after you finish that business you have to take care of PLEASE.. If you feed us I'll suck ya dick like you like..

(Stacy) who was that baby?? My son's mother she's always begging.. Anyway don't worry about my phone worry about this dick.. (Stacy) well what I want is to fuck you high. Did you bring that baby? Yeah but you better go smoke that shit in the bathroom.. Anywhere just not around me.. (Stacy) ok well let me go upstairs to my home girl's real quick I'll be right back.. Baby I left your favorite movie in the dvd player to keep you company til I get back.. Aiight just hurry..

(Phone ringing) answering machine picks up. This is stacy please leave me a message.. Hello Miss. Vega this is Dr. Gates from the Belwood clinic, we need you to come in tomorrow please.. Its of great importance..

(John) what the fuck?? I know I didn't hear that.. Maybe she's pregnant.. But she can't be..

(Knock knock) Yo! Stacy in there? Tell her its john.. Stace its a john at the door for you..
(Stacy) What's good boo I'm leaving right now.. What's wrong? Why ya face so screwed up??
The doctor's office called and left a message saying it was an emergency. They need you to come in asap.. Now!!! We are going right now so come on..
(Stacy) oh ok what do you think it is why they calling me like that? I better not me pregnant in my tubes cause that's painful to go through..

To myself I thought I hope it is just that. GOD please don't let it be what I think is.. I swear I will never have unprotected sex again.. Just when I was almost having a heart attack the doctor walked out before her and asked me to come in his office..

Yes doctor well john that is your name right? Yes sir well John Miss Vega is HIV positive.. I thought I would die.. My heart started beating like a million miles a hour.. My legs got weak.. While he was talking.. All I could see is the condoms in my wallet when I went to her house and I still went raw..
(Doctor) JOHN can you hear me?? He had to repeat himself a few times before it registered.. Yes sir!! John what I'm saying is I need you to take a few tests.. Because there is a chance that you May not have it.. That was the longest 2 hours of my life. When he came back he had the look of sorry in his face.. He didn't have to say anything.. All I heard after I had HIV was the request for a list of my sexual partners.. Damn what am I going to do?? A few minutes of pleasure doomed me.. I can't help but think about if I had sex with her who did she have sex with?? and who did they have sex with?? and who they had sex with?? It is a never ending cycle of DEATH.. She gave me the House In Virginia (HIV)

My GOD...

My GOD is better then your GOD.. My GOD says this and your GOD says that so I must kill in the name of my GOD.. How can you wear that and pray to my GOD?? How can you have sex before marriage and pray to my GOD?? My GOD is all seeing and almighty.. If some one dies it was for a reason.. Maybe him or his family was being punished.. Sinners will absolutely burn in hell.. Don't you want to go to heaven?? Yeah then follow who and what I'm following.. And my pastor will get you there.. How do I know? Because my GOD talks directly you him.. I give the church money because the good book say's so.. So what my light bill is due.. GOD will make a way.. Women shouldn't wear pants because that's a sin.. Men shouldn't lust over women that's a sin.. Its a sin to know all these things and do nothing to change..

PLEASE listen if your so CALLED GOD is love.. He/she wouldn't like you judging people.. And have you ever seen heaven or hell?? Oh ok.. Its my opinion that we make our heaven or hell here and now on earth..

RELIGION SEAPERATES PEOPLE..
Live and let live..

From the mind of a free minded person..

the truth is the light.. you live in the dark

WHEN IS THE TRUTH NOT ENOUGH.. when did we began to want each other to lie?? was it when you said something that i thought should have been easier for me to take?? was it when i did something that you thought i shouldn't have?? my biggest question is this do you really want the truth like you say you do?? we as people want life to be easy.. far to easy.. easy at work easy in our personal lives.. just easy everywhere but sorry to say life just ain't easy.. it's HARD.. as it should be.. anything easy wasn't worth it.. easy come easy go.. that's such a real statement.. so why not appreciate the truth.. embrace it like a warm body on a cold night.. give it to me as you see it.. I'm fat OK my breath stinks sometimes OK.. I'm ugly wait just one damn minute.. ugly never maybe the bottom of my feet yes.. lol that's just me feeling myself but seriously.. i am totally open to anything a friend has to tell me as long as its there truth.. my advice for all of my friends is.. when told the truth about something don't just spaz out.. take a second and reflect on if this person is telling you the truth for there benefit or yours.. the truth is one of the most dangerous things on this planet.. because lies are so common when one does tell the truth your looked down on.. as crazy as it sound.. the truth is the light.. and you should live in it..

Touch Your Heart

Can I touch your heart? Not with my penis or with my lips pressed against yours.
But with my soul and your love coming threw my pores..
If this life was a love game all you would do is score..
I am your team.. I'm all yours..
Not to sound like a stalker but can I carry you to work..
Off your feet in my arms.. With you not touching the dirt..
How many ways can I say that I belong to you..
I'm a humble servant in your Queendom, under your RULE..
Hard hat.. Your working on life, in general and I'm your tool..
I'm use to being chased not chasing this is all NEW..
So can I express my feeling open and true??
What I see in a dream.. Is all I see in you..
My lady.. My friend.. My war partner..
You hold me down to the end like the plans hit in pearl harbor..
Let's let the world know we are a couple.. Leave it or love it..
Sweat lady.. My baby.. And our motto is FUCK IT..

Fancy seeing you here.. I've often questioned your motives.. And how heart felt is your love.. Because mine is explosive..

Should I be reading her text messages?? I can't take not knowing who she's dealing with.. Is this love or lust I asked myself a million times.. Now that I've read this poem to her.. I know now that she has a special place in my heart and I can't see her with anyone else. How do I ask her about him? Look at her laying there looking so peaceful. We are like ying and yang we work so well together. So I know now what I have to do. We don't have any lies between us.. So its not how I ask her its how to I tell her I'm bothered by something in her phone that I shouldn't have seen anyway..

CHOCOLATE AND VANILLA

I pulled into the parking lot beside her car.. She got into my passenger side with a smile that lit up the car. I'm trying to keep my composure. But bursting with happiness inside to be here right next to the person I've been wanting for so long.. After about a half hour of great conversation we both had to get back to our lives.. But when we got out the car to hug our eyes locked and we slowly leaned in for what felt like the most passionate kiss I've had in a long time.. When we got close I know she could feel me bulging threw my pants.. So she reached down and started rubbing on it hard.. It felt like she was jerking me threw my pants.. When I put my arms around her and felt her butt oh my god I thought I would cum right then.. But I said to myself I just have to feel her insides.. Still kissing passionately I pulled one of her breast out her sports bra and sucked on it.. She taste like honey in my mouth.. Kissing sucking and rubbing outside of the car in public turned us both on more.. We went from outside to the back of my truck.. She came out of her sweats and me my jeans.. And we became one.. Her legs in the air and me thrusting myself in side her.. The truck rocking back and forth.. The windows fogging up with every thrust I'd taste her sweat lips.. Harder and deeper.. I looked down and I could see the joy in her face that I was feeling being inside her.. I tried to hold myself back from cumming but every time I would kiss her I got closer to xtacy!!!! Ahhhhhh imm cummm I could even get it out....as I was done I could help but lick her cleanly shaven pussy... I will never forget her vanilla skin and honey taste.. I wish she was here in the rain with me now...